WEEK 5 - ROLLED OVER, REGENERATED AND THING-ME-JIGGERED - BUT STILL NO WISER AS TO WHERE TO STICK MY EARPHONES!

BREAKING NEWS - LOCAL HOTTIE WIN'S DEPP'S HEART



Well, it's official, leaked through "Image Generator", I am to become Mrs Johnny Depp! For 4 years now I have been harnessing the power of "The Secret" and all I can say is "Dr Wayne W Dyer - you rock man - I've seen it and now I believe it!". I have been perfecting the "Johnny to the rescue daydream" for so long now whilst facing the daily challenges of "It was chewed beyond recognition when I borrowed it", "I only printed the one page" and, my personal favorite, "If the Trojans escape from the computer, will they hurt me?". Anyway, it's all true, this self-help stuff really does work!!!!!!!

The other exciting news in Week 5 is that, not only having harnessed the power of the Secret (Book 1), I have now discovered an entirely new Secret (Book 2 soon to be released) courtesy of LibaryThing. This secret like the previous is mighty powerful and, whilst it can be used in many situations, it is particularly powerful in customer service. Today I share it with you fellow bloggers free of charge. Next time you're in a challenging customer service moment, wait 'till the point when the customer is just about to blow a blood vessel and, innocently, interject with the comment "Excuse me, would you like to see my widget?". The outcomes are astonishing. Post your comments please on http://rss(reallystupidsuggestion).blogspot.com/.

For all the systems personnel out there for whom the previous paragraph may have been a complete mystery, look to your left of the blog for said widget. Careful analysis of the content will ensure you that I am taking my career change pretty seriously (refer to Week 4 if lost).

As for Rollyo(Roll Your Own) I've pretty much been doing this for years (extensive training in the drug industry of great assistance here!). However, I did manage to sign up to create my own search roll. Unfortunately ran out of play time; I was attempting to create a category called Drug Barons.

BLOG OFF FOR NOW until my next exciting adventure in the World of Web 2.0.

WEEK 4 - WHAT THE RSS!?!?! OR MORE IMPORTANTLY "WHERE DO I STICK MY HEADPHONES?"

To set the scene, I have my valued one hour off the desk which I have been told to use for my blogg. Time to get off the desk and find an available computer - 15 minutes. Where to stick the earphones? Eventually find computer with speakers. So we are now attempting to achieve a learning outcome of taking a person who can't find where to stick their earphones to successfully learning the advanced web 2.0 technology of RSS (Really Simple Syndication). Not too much an ask really.

Anyway, the video won't play; can't wait that long for the computer to load up the 'youtube' presentation (which at least did look a bit interesting), I do the really silly thing of looking at the bloglines tutorial. This is akin to the first time you innocently press the "help" button on your computer and wonder why it's written in English but reads like Chinese. Anyway, now running way out of time but have a least resolved a very important matter which is, if I do become a serial killer, I will limit my selection to systems personnel! Eventually, I manage to speedily set up a bloglines account and I have one very impressive e-mail to prove it!

As for the use of this technology, in my next life time when I come back with an enhanced systems technology gene I will utilise my time better by setting up a personalised stock watch and property watch. I will be fed moment by moment information on the whereabouts of my heirs to the extensive empire as they trapsy around the world. But most importantly I will have free'd up enough time to satisfy what seems to be the goal of members of my family, that is a serious e-bay addiction!

But for the moment I can think of only one personal urgent need for the use of this technology (now that I know it exists) and that is to set up my own "Where's Johnny" stalker feed (Depp, of course!).

I'll blogg off for now and look forward to my next systems enlightenment.