WEEK 9 - OH NO! THE END IS NIGH!

Welcome back bloggers. This week's exciting adventure looked at Youtube, Podcasts and downloadable audio books. You'll notice at the top of the blog a couple of new contestants for "So you think you can dance" and some podcasted stories for those of you antisocial enough not to spend your tea breaks annoying others.


Well, it's finally here, the end. What can I say, I've been Blogged, Flickr'd, Mashed Up, RSS'd, Newsfed, Image Generated, TiedUp (sorry that was another course), LibraryThing-me-jiggered, Rollyo'd, made Del.icio.us, Technorati'd, Wiki'd, Zoho Written, Google Doc'd, YouTubed, Whipped (just making sure you're still reading), Podcasted, Downloaded and there's still no visible difference in the size of my wrinkles! I ask myself "am I a better person for having done this", I doubt it, but "am I worth more money", you bet. Can't wait for the big bucks - SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!!!!


Husband No. 1 (He-Man) is most happy this is now the end. He's been muttering for weeks to the kids something about Mum being an 'internet junkie' and believes there to be a direct correlation between my blogging and the amount of food in the fridge. Of course with the upcoming nuptials (to JohnnyD!) life's about to get a whole lot busier. Johnny's added protein shakes to his diet and extra cardio to his daily work outs (cause let's face it, he's gonna need it, there's 25 years of pent up passion coming at him!!!). The divorce is taking a bit longer than expected, a legal battle is ensuing over who's responsible for the bodies in the backyard, car bodies that is (gosh these systems guys are still a bit jumpy).


At the early stage of starting out on this adventure I managed to wrestle an Australian Macworld magazine from a nerd and read an article on Blogging. It encouraged bloggers to make their blogs more interesting (even the poor nerds must have been getting bored stiff). To this end I've spend time applying the knowledge rather that just writing about it. I'd like to thank the few who have taken the time from their busy lives to read and/or comment on my blog. It was reassuring to discover other forms of life in the blogosphere (although some forms I'd rather not have encountered!). And as to where all this lunacy (sorry technology) is heading, I recommend a read of Ben Elton's new best seller "Blind Faith".


Well, that's it folks. I'll share with you a passage from Dave O'Neil's book "Everything tastes better crumbed" which I think just about sums it up:-

THE INTERNET HAS BEEN VERY GOOD FOR LONELY, SLIGHTLY OVERWEIGHT PEOPLE WHO LIKE SCI-FI by Dave O'Neil

Just imagine: you're an overweight, 27-year-old single man living in a small town in outback Australia, who loves Battlestar Galactica. I mean, you love it - you have all the DVD's, all the little figurines and
you even get you mum to knock up a costume on the sewing machine.
Sometimes you have Battlestar Galactica nights (when Mum and Dad are at the CWA fundraiser) and you close the curtains, put on the costume and only speak the alien language while watching series three. And at the end of the night, when Mum and Dad come home, you scamper to your room, lie on your single bed (with Battlestar doona cover) and wonder, 'Why doesn't anyone else in Connawaraburra like Battlestar Galactica?'. No one's even heard of it. Don't they know it's on Channel Nine sometimes, late at night, when the cricket's not on?

And then, like the big bang, the Internet happened. It was no
surprise that it was invented by nerds. Nerds, who wanted to talk to other nerds. Suddenly that Battlestar fan in Connawaraburra is no
longer alone. He's online in the Battlestar chatrooms, he's swapping facts on series two, he's buying merch, joining clubs, playing games and - look out - he's even met a girl from Ohio and fallen in love.

Let's be honest, the Internet has been great for lonely freaks. Freaks who knew there were like-minded people out there but just didn't know how to meet them. In the old days they would have joined model railway clubs or the Freemasons. They would have had a CB radio or, if they were a big gun, a ham radio. Now all they have to do is turn on the computer and they have their own community. MySpace, YouTube, RSVP, IMDB or PolishWomenWithBeards.com - there's something for everyone.

All those guys you made fun of for staying after class to help the Science teacher clean the Bunsen burners? They control the world now.
Computers haven't taken over, the men who love them have. The revenge of the nerds is complete. And I, for one, say good luck to them. I hated sport too, you know. I loved comics and staying indoors. I rode a BMX until I was eighteen, and was in the Model Rocket Club. I loved those model rockets. I can build a Battlestar Galactica one, if you like.

Top three Internet search engine topics:
1 Sci-fi
2 Porn
3 Sci-fi porn.

SO FELLOW BLOGGERS IT'S FAREWELL. It's been my pleasure and I offer a last little video clip to help you remember why you keep rocking up to work here each day, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lex0GBppe4Y.

BLOGOFFAGAINANDAGAINANDFOREVER!!!

WEEK 8 - BLOGOFF'S 2020 VISION PROUDLY BROUGHT TO YOU BY GOOGLE DOCS IN CONJUNCTION WITH ZOHO WRITER

This week I discovering the various 'Web 2.0 on-line applications and tools' and lived to tell the tale! I even managed to create a brief presentation using the topic of the week (2020 Summit)and Google Docs especially for our PM Kevin (why Kevin doesn't satisfy his 'collaborative needs' by 'harnessing the technology of Web 2.0' I'll never know: he could have had so many more ideas from the blogosphere all of which would have been equally if not more valuable than mine !?!). Anyway, Kev (and anyone else interested) you'll find a few ideas to incorporate into your 2020 vision at the top of this blog (if I'd had more blogging time I'd have added colour, animation, sound and a better set up (you have to click on the slides to get them to move). The fact that I mastered the transfer of HTML whilst STILL not knowing where to stick my earphones is a real surprise .

I had a look at the 2.0 Awards under Funstuff (what else!) and I've copied a link to a site which will make your e-mails much more interestingly annoying (my life's purpose!) - http://www.fuzzmail.org/top10.html.

Just a final thought for this week, if these web tools are all about "empowering users with the ability to create and share content" has it occurred to anyone yet that you're probably going to regret this (I just managed to use all the 'emotions' in Zoho writer: tell me that's not epic!?!)

I'LL BLOGOFF FOR NOW .

WEEK 7 - A WIKI'D PLAN

Welcome back fellow bloggers! This week's exciting challenge was to have a look at Wiki's but before we go there a couple of points of interest. Firstly I've managed to load music onto the blog (the coolest widget yet!) so you can now listen to your favorite tunes whilst reading my weird rantings (at least your visit won't have been a complete waste). The other point is I'm not sure how much I can rant this week as one of my little "wikis" has an ear infection (no points for guessing which one); I swear 'party boy' has his own stashed copy of "The Secret" somewhere as his ability to harness the power of the universe to mimic real illness as the school holidays end is truly amazing!

Well now down to business. I wasted a lot of time listening to pod casts, looking at library wikis when I should have just honed in on YouTube's 'idiot's guide' to wikis (wiki - online tool to develop a collaborative website - see I did listen). Whilst getting the "e-mail old way, bad", "wiki, new way, good" message for the four campers who wanted to plan their camping trip, what did really concern me was Camper No 2, John. He seemed way too keen to bring along a rope and knife. It made me want establish a link just to warn the fellow campers of his potential intentions! It did get me to thinking though about the potential use for wikis and, the next time I plan a bank job, I'm definitely signing up. As my madness knows no boundaries (something akin to many of the systems gurus out there) I created BankHeistWiki (my version of Wikipedia). I too would like to "harness the collective intelligence" of my fellow man (preferably those incarcerated in some penitentiary somewhere) and who are looking to contribute to society (me, plus a share of the loot on release). Additionally disgruntled bank employees are most welcome (bearing security codes, locations, schematic drawings etc). Just a cautionary note guys, it's best to use someone else's computer whilst 'collaborating'.

As for PBWiki, (Peanut Butter Wiki, I kid you not), is it just obvious to me or has anyone else spotted that marketing meetings should not be scheduled near lunch time? These guys obviously can't think further than their lunch boxes (they must have used the same marketing genius as Del.icio.us). Anyway, I did manage eventually to load my blog onto their website (I need to be in the remedial class, three keys EDIT, SAVE, LINK and it took me ages to find them!). During this time of searching though I did come up with something, a name. Keeping with a culinary theme here's one for free guys, "SuperSizeMeWiki"!

I'll BLOGOFF 'till next time, but before you go have a chat to Johnny (click on the phrases and Johnny speaks!). Don't forget to scratch for your secret message and please waste more valuable work time taking out your daily frustrations on "Hang the Freak" (was called this, I didn't make it up). BLOGOFFAGAINANDAGAIN!

WEEK 6 - THERE'S A 'WORM' IN MY GOLDEN 'DEL.ICIO.US'

Welcome back bloggers! This week's exciting challenge was to look at tagging with Del.icio.us and Technorati and to 'crystal gaze' into the Library 2.0 meme. But, before we go there, just a couple of little housekeeping matters. You'll notice some widgets are taking over my blog, what can I say, I read an article on blogging and it said to keep things interesting (just like a real relationship really), so keep an eye out, things have a habit of changing. Have a play with "must have" cyber pet Johnny (thanks kids), you can feed him strawberries and he jumps and spins when you click on him (don't ask why!) and please don't go until you've waisted more valuable work time on a game of PacMan at the bottom of this blog. Now down to business.

Delicious Del.icio.us. I mean, come on guys, WHAT'S WITH THE NAME! I would have loved to been a fly on that focus group wall. Just imagine as one 'techno' asks "and what do you think we should call our fantastic new social bookmarking tool that allows "people" not "computers" to classify (tag) information according to their own meaningful labels?". "Ah" one of them replies "why don't we call it Delicious?". "Yeah, that makes sense, and, just to further confuse them, why don't we stick some random punctuation in the word too!" Duh! And you wonder why there's e-bombs!. Anyway, I joined up, got the icons on my toolbar and got real busy 'mis-tagging' material according to their philosophy. The only thing is, I wasn't the only one doing this and there within lies the problem. A simple search of comedy on their site brought up some guy dressed head to toe in pink lycra bound to a bed and the mention of sex toys. That's what happens when you involve "people"!

Not content with just keeping tagging to oneself, one bright spark developed a system for 'web crawling' through the 'tagged' thoughts of the over 50 million (mostly criminally insane) bloggers and called it Technorati. What can I say, he must have got bored at the laundrette one day. Podcast lady would have you believe there's meaning behind this name but I can assure you it's a brand of tumble dryer (quality European appliance - available in a stainless steel or titanium finish). So, basically, if you're looking for everyone in the planet's thoughts (and a few off the planet as well) just go into Technorati and they'll search the blogosphere for you. It's best use is for tagging within your own long boring blogs so the reader hasn't committed suicide by the time you get to the point. So within this blog, for example, I could tag "e-bombs", "murder", "a" and "the" (last two for the not so bright).

Now to Library 2.0 meme. There is so much I could say on this subject (like what's a meme?) but I really have to limit myself. Although I had only to read the one person's view on where we're heading, the sadist within me read all five (what can I say, not too bright, I just had to confirm five times that I'm out of a job!) 'Cause, let's face it, it's going to take more than a serious calorie controlled diet to fit me into the hard drive to fill the position of "virtual librarian". But I get that "the times are a changing" and I'm sure I'll rise to the occasion like I always have. After all I've learned to pump my own gas (still not too good with LPG), I'm a whizz at telephone banking (don't trust the internet) and I truly enjoy Centrelink's voice recognition technology although it truly doesn't enjoy me. But one thing remains constant in this 'self-service', 'fast-paced', 'talk to the computer 'cause the face ain't listening' culture - frustration - and the search for the ubiquitous "person". Perhaps there will still be a role for me after all.

Well I'll stop boring you with my blog and BLOG OFF. Until next time fellow bloggers. Hope the Easter Bunny's blogging good to you. Which gets me to thinking, does the Easter Bunny have a blog? I'm gone.

WEEK 5 - ROLLED OVER, REGENERATED AND THING-ME-JIGGERED - BUT STILL NO WISER AS TO WHERE TO STICK MY EARPHONES!

BREAKING NEWS - LOCAL HOTTIE WIN'S DEPP'S HEART



Well, it's official, leaked through "Image Generator", I am to become Mrs Johnny Depp! For 4 years now I have been harnessing the power of "The Secret" and all I can say is "Dr Wayne W Dyer - you rock man - I've seen it and now I believe it!". I have been perfecting the "Johnny to the rescue daydream" for so long now whilst facing the daily challenges of "It was chewed beyond recognition when I borrowed it", "I only printed the one page" and, my personal favorite, "If the Trojans escape from the computer, will they hurt me?". Anyway, it's all true, this self-help stuff really does work!!!!!!!

The other exciting news in Week 5 is that, not only having harnessed the power of the Secret (Book 1), I have now discovered an entirely new Secret (Book 2 soon to be released) courtesy of LibaryThing. This secret like the previous is mighty powerful and, whilst it can be used in many situations, it is particularly powerful in customer service. Today I share it with you fellow bloggers free of charge. Next time you're in a challenging customer service moment, wait 'till the point when the customer is just about to blow a blood vessel and, innocently, interject with the comment "Excuse me, would you like to see my widget?". The outcomes are astonishing. Post your comments please on http://rss(reallystupidsuggestion).blogspot.com/.

For all the systems personnel out there for whom the previous paragraph may have been a complete mystery, look to your left of the blog for said widget. Careful analysis of the content will ensure you that I am taking my career change pretty seriously (refer to Week 4 if lost).

As for Rollyo(Roll Your Own) I've pretty much been doing this for years (extensive training in the drug industry of great assistance here!). However, I did manage to sign up to create my own search roll. Unfortunately ran out of play time; I was attempting to create a category called Drug Barons.

BLOG OFF FOR NOW until my next exciting adventure in the World of Web 2.0.

WEEK 4 - WHAT THE RSS!?!?! OR MORE IMPORTANTLY "WHERE DO I STICK MY HEADPHONES?"

To set the scene, I have my valued one hour off the desk which I have been told to use for my blogg. Time to get off the desk and find an available computer - 15 minutes. Where to stick the earphones? Eventually find computer with speakers. So we are now attempting to achieve a learning outcome of taking a person who can't find where to stick their earphones to successfully learning the advanced web 2.0 technology of RSS (Really Simple Syndication). Not too much an ask really.

Anyway, the video won't play; can't wait that long for the computer to load up the 'youtube' presentation (which at least did look a bit interesting), I do the really silly thing of looking at the bloglines tutorial. This is akin to the first time you innocently press the "help" button on your computer and wonder why it's written in English but reads like Chinese. Anyway, now running way out of time but have a least resolved a very important matter which is, if I do become a serial killer, I will limit my selection to systems personnel! Eventually, I manage to speedily set up a bloglines account and I have one very impressive e-mail to prove it!

As for the use of this technology, in my next life time when I come back with an enhanced systems technology gene I will utilise my time better by setting up a personalised stock watch and property watch. I will be fed moment by moment information on the whereabouts of my heirs to the extensive empire as they trapsy around the world. But most importantly I will have free'd up enough time to satisfy what seems to be the goal of members of my family, that is a serious e-bay addiction!

But for the moment I can think of only one personal urgent need for the use of this technology (now that I know it exists) and that is to set up my own "Where's Johnny" stalker feed (Depp, of course!).

I'll blogg off for now and look forward to my next systems enlightenment.

#3 Flickr Continued - Technology

Romantic Evening, Technology-Style on Flickr - Photo Sharing!

The effect of technology on interpersonal relations is a worry! Sometimes I worry I may not be able to recognise my own children due to only seeing the tops of their heads whilst texting and the back of their heads whilst msning. I think I will need to set up my own "Facebook" account so my family remembers me!